March 29, 2012

When Forevers become Temporary

Posted in Lifestyle tagged , , , , , at 4:36 am by potofcallaloo


PHoto b yCarbonNYC

Life has a funny way of taking some forevers and turning them into temporaries (and vice versa but that talk’s for another day)

Consider the myriad of ways in which this plays out. You know when some people plan and dream or hope for forever with someone special, and they’re so convicted that it’s with  that soul forever will be, only to get a bitter let down of ‘oops it was a temporary.’

Or like when a forever friend is no longer there, sometimes because the friendship has run its course, or sometimes because something got in the way. Like death.

When forevers morph into temporaries it can be devastating no matter what your forever was. Though, I have some friends who would love the West Indies Cricket Team’s forever-losing-streak to become a temporary.

But not those kind of instances I mean.  I’m referring to the more serious kinds of life alterations that really change people or affect them immensely. I’ve been thinking about why this happens, and how, if one could, lessen the impact of a forever turning into a temporary.

The Nature of Life

Now, I know people say nothing in life lasts forever. So us mortal earthlings like to say. But for the purpose of this blog let’s say forever is a lifetime ok?

What do you do when a forever dream, friend, love, hope, purpose… becomes lost to the temporary or ever-changing nature of life? Do you let go and try to move on? Or for those things that are impossible to let go of, do you pack them away in your internal closet, knowing they’ll be with you forever and just pretend to carry on? (Imagine things fall through with your soul mate, or your life-long career dream, then what?)

Or is it better to not expect any forevers at all, and in this way avoid hurt? So when marriage becomes divorce, love becomes bitter or friends are lost by untimely deaths, we can more easily adjust. Would it be easier?

Nelly Furtado’s haunting lyrics in All Good Things allude to the fleeting nature of life. She sings ‘Flames to dust/ Lovers to friends/Why do all good things come to an end?’

I’d like to know. Of course no amount of questions we ask will alter the nature of life, but maybe by asking questions we might be able to find ways of better transitioning through its disappointing vicissitudes.

Though, tangibles won’t last in this life just as we are but dust in the wind, the greatest consolation probably lies in the fact that there are some things that will always remain: hope, faith and love.

Have you had to deal with a forever turning into a temporary? What was it and how did you deal with the change?
It would be great to hear your thoughts!

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2 Comments »

  1. Ginger said,

    I’ve had a whole life of forever turn into temporary bits just last year. My marriage ended, my health changed, and I lost my career because of the two. At times, I admit, it felt too much to bear all at once, but I never gave up. I worked through it and I love my life now. I’m no longer in an abusive marriage, I have learned to deal with living with a chronic pain condition, and I am now pursing finding a job that I will be better suited for.
    When it comes to loss, one has to move on. It shouldn’t be rushed and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. With every life change there needs to be acceptance and closure, but most importantly the will to go on. Looking at bad things that happen in a positive and constrictive light always helps, too!

    • Hi Ginger, I’m happy that you’ve found an effective way of dealing with forevers that have turned into temporaries. I’m happy that you are happy now, I guess that’s one indication that not all ‘forever-turned-temporaries’ are bad things for us. Your model for moving on is a great one we can all apply to our own situations: acceptance, closure and ‘the will to go on’ as you said. Thanks for the enlightenment Ginger:) I will def try to apply this to my own life:)


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